Saturday, October 9, 2010

This blog is going to be good, I swear.....a lot.

This will undoubtedly be one of those "I remember where I was" moments for all of you reading the first post of MK, probably a lot similar to when MTV was launched (and we all know where the music industry would be today without that.). Not sure how often I'll be posting, but probably pretty frequently, because I'm hoping to get out of a lot of household duties by shouting, "I'm updating my BLOG!... Jesus, this is important shit I'm doing here."

I expect to be making money off of this thing in about eight months or so, after it's goes viral and Hoda endorses it on TTS. For all of you collectors, I'll be happy to sign any "print screen's" you'll all make of this post.

For my wife and my mom, the only two people who will ever read this, head's up: there will be some salty language.

"Fucking pretzel". See? ...can't get much saltier than that.

I'm going to try and keep these posts somewhat topic-focused, so it looks like this one is going to be on Fuck. So speaking of, here's one on that:

So, I'm watching the Hawks and, as typically happens, Hasselbeck throws a pick on the first play of the game (yes, him throwing a pick on the first play is typical). I respond with an involuntary "Fuuuuuuuckin Hasslebeck" (which is also typical). My three-year old, who was within ear-shot (my bad), comes out and says, pointing at the TV, "You said he yucky?" "Yep, he makes my sick." Bada Bing! (Then I ran upstairs to my drum kit to do my own rim-shot [why do they call it that? Evokes, ze anal, no?]).

Incidentally, I'm not going to write much about my kids, because they are covered quite extensively in the award-winning blog CEO of the Circus (the award is for "Best Blog About My Kids", which was an honor given the blog by me).

One other thing on fuck: Instead of saying "fuck off" to someone, say, "cough". You get your point across. They know what you said, but you really didn't say it.

"Whaaaat? I did not tell you to fuck off, that's crazy. I wouldn't ever say that.......cough".

"You did it again."

"No I didn't, I said 'cough'".

"Why'd you say 'cough'?"

"Cause I got to get a physical today and I'm practicing."

OK, that was dumb, but it is original. I'm not going to ape anyone's bits on this blog.

Endorsement of the Day: Modern Toss


  1. That is soooooo funny! Do you have a girlfriend? Will you perform at my bachelorette party?

    I love you.