Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Atari Syndrome

Things that will be obsolete and passé in ten years.

I'll bet you these show up on VH1's "I love the 00's (OO'hs), where Rich Eisen and a very old Mo Rocca will make fun of them:

Ed Hardy shirts and anything with gothic prints or Olde English lettering - cept for Douchebag Twelvekids, he'll still be rocking his EH shirt.

Reality Shows - there will be high-def cameras everywhere, so instead of watching Jersey Shore, you'll watch "Walmart" or "Bus Station" (in real time).

Monday Night Football - which will have become Everyfucking Night Football.
* Sidebar: Why is the NFL music on Fox, CBS and NBC so goddamn dramatic and epic? What happened to cool, stylized themes?

Baggage Fees - "Nope," you say, "they'll only get higher". No they won't, cause you're going to be buying baggage FARES in ten years. Your bags are going to be on a whole different plane and you'll just have to hope they get there. There will be vending machines that sell clothes though, so you'll be cool for a day or so til your stuff gets there.

Botox -"Remember when people used to stick needles in their faces and shit? Then they'd look like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float? That shit was messed up."

Potlucks - I can only hope. Maybe if enough people get E-Coli.

GPS' in cars - Huge, illimunated screens on your dashboard? Somebody's got to have come up something better by then.

Bud Lime - Bud Clamato will be huge though.

Facebook - God willing.


  1. The VH1 promo:

    Tuesday- don't miss "Remeber When: The Reality Shows"....
    Survivor: Guantanomo
    Real Housewives of Compton
    and the Where Is He Now profile of stroke victim Ryan Seacrest.

  2. Harsh news for Seacrust. He'll do AI ala Steven Hawking I assume.